Not a sentiment that seems consistent with the biblical reference, but hope can be a dangerous thing. We are taught that hope is a great gift and that it can see you through hard times and guide your journey, physical or spiritual. The truth is hope does more damage than it does good. This past May Laurie Munroe Abkemeier spoke at my daughter's college graduation. Her speech was a nice balance of the cliche, the profound and the funny. For me, the most memorable piece of advice she gave to this extraordinary assembly of young people in a most idyllic setting was simple..."Don't follow your dreams." Such a simple thought and the brief explanation that followed were profound. Dreams like hope can distract us from present...from the here and now, and in clinging to a dream or hoping for the future to be different one can easily miss the opportunity of a life time and taken to the extreme can rob you of your life. I heard a recent radio interview (I wish I could find the reference) where a man spoke of spending a large part of his life hoping his father, a fisherman lost a sea, was still alive and would one day return. That hope crippled his life in ways he was, many years later, just coming to appreciate.
Hope and dreams can inspire and encourage or they can isolate and torture. While I'm busy quoting people, I think John Lennon gets partial credit for the line, "Life is what happens when you are busy making other plans." If you are so focused on those other plans or clinging to a false reality you can miss out on life.
Hope sucks the most when we are at our weakest; when tragedy strikes or misfortune visits we often hope that it isn't true. Wanting something to be different than it IS can lead to dangerous territory. Hope can lead us to distraction and denial; Hope can halt our progress; Hope can forestall our grieving; Hope can suspend our participation in life.
Hope can prolong and intensify our pain; Hope cannot keep us from suffering, but it can add to our misery. We get to choose how we live and hope can be as paralyzing to our emotional and spiritual life as a physical injury can be to our bodily life. We get to choose how we live with the realities of life, and wanting bad things from the past to be different may be a natural desire, but it is not a reasonable and healthy way to live. Hoping for things to be different can suck the life out of you, can rob you of living your life, and can bring more harm. We often call this hopeless, but I don't believe that is a proper characterization. Those who find themselves feeling hopeless or losing hope are in fact those most clinging to the hurtfulness of hope. Hope keeps us from accepting what IS, hope keeps us from living in the present, hope causes pain and suffering.
In short Hope Sucks!
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Sunday, September 11, 2011
Thoughts for today...I will Always Remember!
On this momentous day I find myself humbled at the sacrifice so many have made and how little it has changed our collective views and in reality our daily lives. For many who where touched directly by the tragedy of that day and the prosecution of two wars it was a turning point; an irreversible source of loss, a deep and abiding respect for those who sacrificed, an empty space in their lives forever. Those are the emotions of this day that so many of us try to share, but many more of us were fortunate. We didn't know anyone personally who was lost, we visited the sights of the tragedy in an attempt to make sense of it...disbelief turned to fear and anger. Many volunteered and/or donated to the 'cause'. There is a generation of soldiers and workers who made career decisions to participate somehow in the response. Many of those have lost their lives or are returned to us in a less than whole way. The wounds of the last decade are deeper than most really understand. Most who were old enough to remember, can likely tell you exactly where they were when they first heard the news. But how many of us have chosen to truly serve? Songs have been written, some reflective some angry. Much has been done in the name of 9/11; but what has really changed? How has our society and our world responded to the challenge of terrorism and war?
In the days following the tragedy of 9/11 we as a country felt in a way we probably hadn't for 50 years or more, but that surge of emotion that has since been channeled in many directions. Our unity is faltering and our purpose is clouded. Many people espouse ideas and act in ways that are based on fear at best and hate at worst. What do we as a country want to be? Are we living and acting in ways that honor the sacrifice of so many? Do we appreciate the Greatest Generation of the 1940's and recognize the Greatest Generation Next who serve today?
As the very fortunate son and brother of veterans and as someone who has had a career that has at times allowed me to feel a part of something larger than myself; I am both humbled and distressed by the various things done in the name of 9/11. The oath taken by those who serve both as military and civilian often includes the phrase "support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic" or "preserve, protect and defend." Conspicuous in it's absence is mention directly of protecting life and property. While this is clearly a duty of those engaged in such roles I believe the oath should remind us of what so many have sacrificed and died for. It is not a particular piece of dirt or symbol such as a flag. In fact in living memory many more soldiers in combat have died on foreign soil than at home...for this we should all feel grateful and should ask ourselves what is it about 'us' that deserves that measure of sacrifice? What are we fighting for and what are 'we' willing to sacrifice. Many are called, serve and sacrifice as soldiers, firefighters, police...and their families.
On days like today I am challenged to remember that when my father went to war at 18 he was crossing an ocean and fighting on foreign soil, not for a king or treasure, but for an idea captured in words. An idea that, while unique in our language and the construction of our republic, is treasured by many beyond our shores. I believe that we should be mindful of that unique place that we as a country and our constitution as it's foundation have in the world; preserving, protecting and defending our constitution first. We should not fight out of fear or hate, but from resolve that we are protecting something greater than individual lives, property and treasure. My father was a quiet and very stoic man, only late in his life did I begin to appreciate the depth of his service and sacrifice made not for himself or his family, but for a country and constitution he believed in. A country of freedoms and liberties for everyone, not just fir those who are most like us; because only a generation or two ago I was not like most of us...from whatever century, we are in our past immigrants, foreigners in a country and society that we now claim as our own.
I will Never Forget...and more importantly I will Always Remember!
In the days following the tragedy of 9/11 we as a country felt in a way we probably hadn't for 50 years or more, but that surge of emotion that has since been channeled in many directions. Our unity is faltering and our purpose is clouded. Many people espouse ideas and act in ways that are based on fear at best and hate at worst. What do we as a country want to be? Are we living and acting in ways that honor the sacrifice of so many? Do we appreciate the Greatest Generation of the 1940's and recognize the Greatest Generation Next who serve today?
As the very fortunate son and brother of veterans and as someone who has had a career that has at times allowed me to feel a part of something larger than myself; I am both humbled and distressed by the various things done in the name of 9/11. The oath taken by those who serve both as military and civilian often includes the phrase "support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic" or "preserve, protect and defend." Conspicuous in it's absence is mention directly of protecting life and property. While this is clearly a duty of those engaged in such roles I believe the oath should remind us of what so many have sacrificed and died for. It is not a particular piece of dirt or symbol such as a flag. In fact in living memory many more soldiers in combat have died on foreign soil than at home...for this we should all feel grateful and should ask ourselves what is it about 'us' that deserves that measure of sacrifice? What are we fighting for and what are 'we' willing to sacrifice. Many are called, serve and sacrifice as soldiers, firefighters, police...and their families.
On days like today I am challenged to remember that when my father went to war at 18 he was crossing an ocean and fighting on foreign soil, not for a king or treasure, but for an idea captured in words. An idea that, while unique in our language and the construction of our republic, is treasured by many beyond our shores. I believe that we should be mindful of that unique place that we as a country and our constitution as it's foundation have in the world; preserving, protecting and defending our constitution first. We should not fight out of fear or hate, but from resolve that we are protecting something greater than individual lives, property and treasure. My father was a quiet and very stoic man, only late in his life did I begin to appreciate the depth of his service and sacrifice made not for himself or his family, but for a country and constitution he believed in. A country of freedoms and liberties for everyone, not just fir those who are most like us; because only a generation or two ago I was not like most of us...from whatever century, we are in our past immigrants, foreigners in a country and society that we now claim as our own.
I will Never Forget...and more importantly I will Always Remember!
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
Seasons - Thoughts for a rainy day.
A turn of weather...A turn of events...A mark of time...A time of change.
Seasons are marked in many ways. The dates on the calendar that follow the equinox, the holidays that become the unofficial start and end of summer, various religious celebrations/observances, etc. mark the turn of annual seasons many linked to agrarian activities of life or recurring astronomical events. Others talk of the seasons of life...these are often defined by milestones, either significant birthdays or life changing events.
What do seasons really mean, what do they feel like? Perhaps thinking about how something feels is a bit more abstract than easily identifiable dates or events, but I believe it may be more relevant. For example the Shakespeare himself made the reference as "Now is the winter of our discontent, made glorious summer by this sun of York." as a reference to the passing of a time of unhappiness. In current events the media has taken to referring to the various uprisings in the Middle East as the “Arab Spring” (Tunisia and Egypt) and the “Arab Winter” (Bahrain, Libya, Yemen, Syria).
Whatever the differences among these references, the commonality is change...and more often than not emotionally charged change. The references to the Arab Spring and Winter reflect a sentiment of the writer toward improvement or decline; while not everyone shares the same perspective on these events the reference is clear that feelings are tied to seasons. Winter is semantically sad and Spring is hopeful, Summer joyous, and perhaps Fall (not often used) would be festive or indulgent.
I have often thought of these various references in my own life, both professionally and personally. Seasonally I am a bit of an optimist, I don't suffer greatly from a seasonal effective disorder or dread one annual season...begging for it to end. I try to look for engaging activities in each. I think the cultivation of an active mind and an active life is the best way to weather the change that comes with whatever type of season you encounter. Don't get me wrong, I have had my sadness and joy...my success and failure.
Seasons bring expectations...not always good, but we expect things to be a certain way in the next season. Either because it was that way in the last 'summer' or 'winter'; or because we have some ideal or dread we perceive will be come to pass in that new season. Expectations are necessary, but thorny concepts; as children perhaps we were told not to have such 'high hopes' or some read or were told about Pollyanna. The counterpoint in literary reference might be Pandora. These archetypal references to good and evil, hope and fear; speak to a caution upon expectations. Expectations are either learned or taught; and it is this lesson that we must continue to learn. To hope something will be better or to fear that it will be worse; pollyanna or pandora, it is perhaps expectations more than anything that lead to the way one feels about that next season. This brings me to another lyrical reference, this time by the late great Harry Chapin: "...Season's spinning round again; The years keep rollin' by. It seems like I've been here before; I can't remember when..."
Here I sit today as the weather has turned cooler and rain keeps pouring down, thinking about seasons. The weather brings to mind the changes that I've come to expect as summer comes to a close; events in my own life and in the world around me offer opportunity for expectations of what is to come...some fearful, some exciting; time brings inevitable change on any scale marking milestones and memories; change is coming whether we desire it or not. As a friend once said to me something along the lines of "worrying is a waste of time; I think I'll just wonder how things are going to turn out." I choose to replace worry with wonder.
The seasons will change and I feel grateful that I am here to see that change.
Seasons are marked in many ways. The dates on the calendar that follow the equinox, the holidays that become the unofficial start and end of summer, various religious celebrations/observances, etc. mark the turn of annual seasons many linked to agrarian activities of life or recurring astronomical events. Others talk of the seasons of life...these are often defined by milestones, either significant birthdays or life changing events.
What do seasons really mean, what do they feel like? Perhaps thinking about how something feels is a bit more abstract than easily identifiable dates or events, but I believe it may be more relevant. For example the Shakespeare himself made the reference as "Now is the winter of our discontent, made glorious summer by this sun of York." as a reference to the passing of a time of unhappiness. In current events the media has taken to referring to the various uprisings in the Middle East as the “Arab Spring” (Tunisia and Egypt) and the “Arab Winter” (Bahrain, Libya, Yemen, Syria).
Whatever the differences among these references, the commonality is change...and more often than not emotionally charged change. The references to the Arab Spring and Winter reflect a sentiment of the writer toward improvement or decline; while not everyone shares the same perspective on these events the reference is clear that feelings are tied to seasons. Winter is semantically sad and Spring is hopeful, Summer joyous, and perhaps Fall (not often used) would be festive or indulgent.
I have often thought of these various references in my own life, both professionally and personally. Seasonally I am a bit of an optimist, I don't suffer greatly from a seasonal effective disorder or dread one annual season...begging for it to end. I try to look for engaging activities in each. I think the cultivation of an active mind and an active life is the best way to weather the change that comes with whatever type of season you encounter. Don't get me wrong, I have had my sadness and joy...my success and failure.
Seasons bring expectations...not always good, but we expect things to be a certain way in the next season. Either because it was that way in the last 'summer' or 'winter'; or because we have some ideal or dread we perceive will be come to pass in that new season. Expectations are necessary, but thorny concepts; as children perhaps we were told not to have such 'high hopes' or some read or were told about Pollyanna. The counterpoint in literary reference might be Pandora. These archetypal references to good and evil, hope and fear; speak to a caution upon expectations. Expectations are either learned or taught; and it is this lesson that we must continue to learn. To hope something will be better or to fear that it will be worse; pollyanna or pandora, it is perhaps expectations more than anything that lead to the way one feels about that next season. This brings me to another lyrical reference, this time by the late great Harry Chapin: "...Season's spinning round again; The years keep rollin' by. It seems like I've been here before; I can't remember when..."
Here I sit today as the weather has turned cooler and rain keeps pouring down, thinking about seasons. The weather brings to mind the changes that I've come to expect as summer comes to a close; events in my own life and in the world around me offer opportunity for expectations of what is to come...some fearful, some exciting; time brings inevitable change on any scale marking milestones and memories; change is coming whether we desire it or not. As a friend once said to me something along the lines of "worrying is a waste of time; I think I'll just wonder how things are going to turn out." I choose to replace worry with wonder.
The seasons will change and I feel grateful that I am here to see that change.
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