Happy New Year - Expectations and Disappointment.

Well the New Year has arrived in classic style. Lot's of discussion of resolutions and renewed commitments to last year's (albeit slightly modified) goals. For me it's the usual, renewed commitment to the gym and eating right; nothing too grand. While moving through the various holidays and seeing the chaos that often comes with this frenzied time of year, I was struck that during this time of celebration people can get so stressed out and irritable and unreasonable. Why do so many people look forward to this time of year, but end up angry or at least disappointed in the midst of it?  I suspect it is a combination of many things, but at the root of much if it might be expectations. Expectations can motivate us to achieve our goals, add excitement to a future happening, or they can set us up for misery.

It is natural to have expectations for the holidays. They may be from memories of happy childhood Christmas or Hanukkah celebrations; or they may be from the commercially manufactured vision foisted upon us by advertising; or some other idea of how things 'should' be. However, many of these expectations are never met and some even have negative expectations from past conflicts or misadventures. My experience with expectations goes well beyond holiday excitement and disappointment.

One of the most potent elements of any vision of the future, near or far, is expectations. In business and particularly sales there is talk of managing expectations. What does that really mean? Usually it means that someone's expectations need to be adjusted...usually downward. How did they get to be too high in the first place? In personal experiences elevated expectations can lead to much more than an unhappy customer. I find that the general attitude of someone is a good indicator of how they 'manage' their own expectations. If someone is generally happy and positive it is a fair bet that they have limited expectations, especially for the behavior of others. Most of my challenges with expectations come from some idea that I can get others to do what I want exactly when I want it. This is as true in business as in personal dealings.

Since this is the season of resolutions, I think I will resolve to manage my expectations to focus on things that I can actually control (myself) and let the concern for the future be more filled with wonder than worry. Having expectations that are within my control and not focusing on undoing past disappointments or achieving someone else's idea of what my future should be like or worse yet how others should behave should make for a much improved year in 2012.

A friend recently suggested that rather than making resolutions for the new year, we should focus on choosing something to leave behind in the old year.  I kind of like that. I think I'll leave behind unrealistic expectations and the disappointment that is sure to follow.

Have a Happy 2012!!